it's been a year since he passed away .
well, it's not that easy to forget him->actually i'm not trying hard.hhe. but it's been so hard for me. CAN YOU EVER IMAGINE WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW??
udah ada kali seribu orang bilang kegue, "udah ikhlasin aja. kasian dianya kalo gak diikhlasin.."
well, gue gak senista itu buat gak ikhlasin dia. gue juga masih punya akal sehat menn. if you say that i am GAK IKHLAS, you're totally wrong. i want all the best for him. i knew this is God's decision to take him. i also knew that Allah is never wrong--and i will never doubt it. my closest friends also told me for a hundred million times that tiap kejadian ada hikmahnya. oke gue juga tau itu. sekali lagi, gue tau itu.tapi ada gak sih yang tau kalo gue tuh bukannya gak mau, tapi SUSAH untuk ngelupain semuanya?? ada yang tau gak sih gimana rasanya jadi gue? ada yang ngerti gak sih gimana ancurnya hati gue pas mutusin dia gitu aja 3hari sebelum dia pergi dan dia gak mau? ada yang tau rasanya dibentak-bentak selama 8 BULAN dan harus menyesuaikan sama bau rumah sakit yang wuekk wuekk gak enak dalam sekejap? ada yang bisa ngebayangin gak sih seberapa parnonya gue tiap dia ngerang kesakitan dirumah sakit dan gue gak tau harus apa? ada yang ngerti gak sih gimana rasanya dipeluk--ya, DIPELUK sekenceng-kencengnya dan dia bilang, "udah gak kuat. sumpah deh udah gak kuat.. boleh aku pergi sekarang?" mann, it was very very much emotional for me!! sekarang apa udah pada bisa ngerti gimana rasanya jadi gue??
well, we had that relationship for 3 and a half years. i learned so many many things from him. he was my first kiss. he was nice. he was my parent's enemy->dia di blacklist dari keluarga gue gara-gara tukang gosip jahanam. we had so many things together. dari susah sampe seneng, ketawa sekenceng-kencengnya sampe nangis sejadi-jadinya, bikin fettucine bareng di rumahnya untuk porsi keluarga besar. dari pop sampe dangdut->kayaknya semua lagu udah kita nyanyiin bareng deh. see? i have a VERY BIG THING to be forgotten!!
tapi, gimanapun juga, my life still must go on. and i have it. i have my own life. even there is no we or us anymore, he's still have a big BIG place in my deepest heart. i swear..
and i know this is one of God's plan. gue sampe sekarang masih gak ngerti kenapa jalannya harus kayak gini. tapi gue nyoba untuk pasrah. gue tau ini yang terbaik untuk semuanya ..
udah ah, enough for today. i thought today will be pretty hard for me. tapi ternyata enggak. gue malah sukses battle DDR sama anak SMA di mal Karawaci hari ini.
tomorrow? hmm. i don't know yet. but i'm pretty much sure that i will start my new day with a smile. i still those wonderful people to help me goin through this fuckin life..
and now? TIME TO BED !!
gutnite, everyone.. have a nice sleep .. hmm. grooook. groook.
this is him, a very great man who always
treat me right, put me into the right place, and never
let me down ..
i LOVE you so much, my scorpio
and i know this is one of God's plan. gue sampe sekarang masih gak ngerti kenapa jalannya harus kayak gini. tapi gue nyoba untuk pasrah. gue tau ini yang terbaik untuk semuanya ..
udah ah, enough for today. i thought today will be pretty hard for me. tapi ternyata enggak. gue malah sukses battle DDR sama anak SMA di mal Karawaci hari ini.
tomorrow? hmm. i don't know yet. but i'm pretty much sure that i will start my new day with a smile. i still those wonderful people to help me goin through this fuckin life..
and now? TIME TO BED !!
gutnite, everyone.. have a nice sleep .. hmm. grooook. groook.
this is him, a very great man who alwaystreat me right, put me into the right place, and never
let me down ..
i LOVE you so much, my scorpio
