I'm Dying, Dying to wake up without you,

without you in my head again

I'm Dying, Dying to forget about you,

that you ever lived

There's a shade come over this

heart that's coping with

laying down to rest

I'm Dying to live without you again

I'm Dying, Dying to find a distraction,

get you away from me

I'm Dying, Dying to reach a conclusion,

so that the world can see

It's the same old story of

love and glory that

broke before it bent

I'm dying to live without you again

The first time you left

I said goodbye

Now there's not a prayer

that can survive

Dying, Dying to die just to come back

so we can meet again

Dying, Dying to say what I always,

always should have said

It's a strange emotion this

but there's still hope in this

As long as there's a breath...

I'm Dying and I can't live without you again

It's a strange emotion this

but there's still hope in this

As long as there's a breath...

I'm Dying and I can't live without you

I'm Dying and I can't live without you again

Untitled

You should really know how much you mean to me.

The taste of your kiss, the feel of your touch, the warmth of your body, the sense of your embrace..
You should know how much I miss you.

Have you ever thought of dying? What it feels like? What yours will be?
I already felt mine.

The absence of your present, the missing of your voice. Oh I really miss hearing your voice, listen to your singing, smile at you everytime you created a song of me.

I miss the way you hold me. How you won't let me go. How you tell me that you wouldn't go away from me.
But you didn't make me stay, eitherway.

Have you ever thought that this is, the best decision we had ever made?
Has it crossed your mind that, we're not waving goodbyes? That we're saying "See you in a better time" instead?
Has that question ever crossed in your mind?
It crossed on mine.

Well even you're not mine anymore.

Am I still yours?
Am I still the one you put your heart on?
Am I still the one you give your hopes to?
Am I still the one that you love so much?

People say that being brokenhearted is a myth.
I don't believe in any kind of myth.
And now am feeling brokenhearted.
The evil part of me says that I'm being left.
But the other one says that you do this, ALL of this, for our own good. Not only yours, but mine too.

I don't know why am I writing this.
It's hard for me to pass even a single day without your presence.
It's been weeks, and I already felt weak.

The message that you got on your phone last night, is true.
That I,
miss you.
That's all.

Thank you.

Lotus Flower

Jadi, malem minggu kemaren ceritanya saya nggak kemana-mana. Di rumah aja. Lagi enak-enak bertapa di kamar sambil nyemilin cheese muffin-nya breadtalk, ternyata Arief tiba-tiba dateng ke rumah saya. Jadilah kami berdua ended up ngobrol sambil internetan di rumah saya. Apa? Ohjelas rumah saya canggih udah provide wi-fi! Hmmmm.
*disambit modem*

Kami berdua memang jatuh cinta banget sama video klip-nya Radiohead yang judulnya Lotus Flower. Ini videonya:

Di video ini Thom Yorke terlihat very VERY sexy folded in his quirkiness. Koreografi "nggak jelas" macem itu dengan tema simple bikin saya sama Arief nggak bisa nggak berhenti komentar, "Ah, gila!" atau "Anjrit, Thom Yorke emang beneran deh ih.." dan emang Arief yang lebih mendalami Radiohead dari saya bilang kalo thom Yorke ini mukanya doang blo'on, tapi dalemnya jenius. Saya sih manggut-manggut aja, tapi setuju juga :D

Masih terhipnotis, kami akhirnya browsing-browsing lagi video-video cover-annya tapi lalu berakhir dalam kekecewaan karena nggak ada yang nyanyinya pas sama selera hati kita. Well, we both are Virgos. Ngerti kan kalo Virgo nemu yang nggak pas di hati bakal kayak gimana? Yes, kecewa dan lalu komentar ini-itu. Muahahahaha.

*diusir dari rasi bintang*

Tetep browsing sana-sini, eh kami nemu video ini. Yep, Lotus Flower versi cewek. Sayang banget video ini gak bisa di-embed. jadinya silakan di klik linknya, ya.. :(

Jadi kami awalnya ngira perempuan ini akan nyanyiin Lotus Flower dengan settingan kayak video klip aslinya, ternyata....

Kami salah.

Dan dibuat bengong sambil nggak berhenti bilang, "Anjrit, keren ni perempuan!"

Kenapa eh kenapa?

Karena eh karena..

Perempuan ini gak menyanyikan Lotus Flower, tapi lipsync, dan..........IMITATE THE COREOGRAPHY VERY WELL. Juga, dia terlihat sangat quirky dan feel-nya dapet. Pokoknya saya sama Arief nggak bisa berhenti girang nonton video ini! 

:D

Kalo yang mau liat, klik aja itu linknya, saya jamin kalo suka sama lagu Lotus Flower nggak bakal manyun liat video itu. Hihi. Udah ah, mau update itu aja. Saya sebenernya kangen nulis, tapi nggak tau mau nulis apa jadinya ya nyampah model begini :))

*dicium Thom Yorke*

Udah yuk ah tidur. Ini waktu sudah memasuki zona hari Senin, loh. Buat yang besok kudu kerja pagi, congratulation, deh. Besok pas pada berangkat kerja, bagi yang beruntung akan bertemu saya lagi.....sepedahan. Ngahahahaha.

*dilindes fixie mejikuhibiniu*

Hihi.

Good night, good readers :)

pic was taken from here

I wanna swim there, a beautiful, teal ocean. Put my head in the deep, salty water, get my skin tanned by the sun. I won't care. I'm bored anyway.

21 :)

The cake :)

The present :)

The lovable best friends :)

The blowing-candles :)

The (hand of the) one that I love, so much. Look at how big his hand is :)

The Present. Hanged pretty well on the wall :)

The one that I won't let go :)

***

Jadi ceritanya, beberapa hari yang lalu, saya ulang tahun yang ke dua puluh satu. Hehe. Rasanya udah gak se-excited dulu waktu ulang tahun ke 18 atau 19. Saya melewati malam dengan....buang ingus.

Damn.

Saya telponan sama Mamas dari sekitar jam setengah sebelas dan ketiduran sakseis jam setengah dua belas. NGAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

*digetok*

Ya gimana, kepala berat, flu mengalahkan saya malam itu. Tapi entah kenapa, out of the sudden, jam 12 malam saya kebangun, dengan telpon masih menyala. He's still there.

"Sayang, selamat ulang tahun, ya.."

:)

Senengnya gila-gilaan. Rasanya flu langsung pergi dari kepala saya. Rasanya ingus langsung bersih dari hidung saya. Saya nyengir dongo yang jelas gak bakal dia liat, dan dengan sok kalemnya, saya jawab,

"Iya, terima kasih ya sayang.."

:)

Lalu narik ingus. 

Damn.

Nggak lama telponan, kami menutup telepon, lalu istirahat. Dia lagi kecapekan, ternyata. Saya juga langsung tidur.

Paginya, saya dibangunin mama. She wakes me up with her kiss on my forehead. Papa nggak mau cium saya sebelom saya mandi. Well..

Setelah mandi dan cakep dan wangi, kami sekeluarga pergi ke Bogor. Udah janjian sama tante-tante dan sepupu-sepupu saya untuk makan siang sama Eyang saya.

Setelah makan siang, kami pulang. Sampe rumah sekitar jam 5-an.

Merasa nggak punya rencana karena teman-teman saya nggak ada yang nanyain *he eh, menyedikan memang* , saya telpon Mamas. Merencanakan birthday date di Dunkin Donuts deket rumah saya, berdua saja.

Rencana jam 7, tapi dia bilang motornya lagi dipake adiknya, dan akhirnya sambil nunggu, saya nyusul teman saya, Uti, yang lagi di Warung Pasta deket rumah juga.

"Mas, aku nyusulin Uti ya ke Warung Pasta. Bla bla bla bla..."

Dia bilang iya.

Saya cengar cengir sendiri membayangkan birthday date kami nanti.

:D

Tapi sebelum saya berangkat, Arief SMS saya. Ngajakin makan junkfood. Merayakan pertambahan umur dengan membunuh diri sendiri makan ayam mekdi? Nehi. Saya akhirnya bilang ke Arief kalo saya udah ada janji sama Mamas. Nah. 

Sukses nyusulin Uti, lanjut ngobrol-ngobrol. Mamas telfon. Dia bilang dia udah di jalan. Terus saya kepingin pamit pindah ke Dunkin Donuts, nggak dibolehin sama Uti. 

"Yaelaaaah, suru aja dia jemput kesini, masa gak mau?!"

....galak dia, sodara-sodara.

Akhirnya saya manut. Nggak lama, Mamas telfon. Dia bilang dia udah di Dunkin. Sebagai perempuan yang sigap dan penuh inisiatif serta motivasi, saya bilang saya jalan nyusul sekarang. Tapi kata Mamas, 

"Udah gak usah. Biar Mamas aja yang kesana"

Saya nyengir.

:D

Balik nunggu duduk manis, Uti bilang, "Nah, bener kan dia mau diminta jemput kemari. Batu sih lo!"

Saya nyengir lagi.

Balik duduk-duduk ngobrol-ngobrol, lalu....

MAMAS DATENG!! Oye oyeeee~

eh, bentar.

Kok, orang-orang pada ngeliatin saya?

Ya saya tau saya cakep, tapi kan gak usah segitunya juga..

*kibas poni*

*kecolok*

Ternyata eh ternyata......

DI BELAKANG SAYA ADA TEMAN-TEMAN SAYA BAWA KUE!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!

*kelojotan kesenengan*

*pingsan*

Pada nyanyiin happy birthday buat saya. Setelah tiup lilin, buka kado dan potong kue, kami semua pindah. Kali ini beneran ke Dunkin Donuts.

OYEEEEEEE!!

Yang lanjut cuman saya, Arief, Uti, Adit, sama Mamas. Yang lainnya harus pulang karena ada urusan lain. Baiklaaaah.

Dan kami meneruskan malam di situ.

Dengan obrolan-obrolan ngalor ngidul.

Arief yang belajar trik-trik sulap dari Mamas.

Saya, Uti dan Adit yang saling melepas rindu.

*hayah*

Sampai akhirnya, waktu menunjukkan pukul 10 malam.

Kami semua pulang.

Saya dan Uti yang emang rumahnya deketan, pulang jalan kaki.

Arief naik angkot, entah angkot apa yang tersisa jam segitu :))

Mamas saya minta pulang langsung, gak usah anter-anter saya. Kasian dia, capek.

:)

Sampe rumah, saya masuk kamar, diam.

Me-rewind seluruh hal yang terjadi hari ini.

Menarik nafas.

Menghembuskannya dengan satu kata,

"Alhamdulillah.."

Karena saya masih dikelilingi oleh orang-orang baik yang peduli sama saya.

Karena saya masih diberi kesempatan untuk merasakan semua ini, affection yang tidak ada habis-habisnya.

Well..

Tuhan,

terima kasih banyak.

:)

"I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien, I'm an English man in New York"
:)

Quick Update

So my family and I are on our way to the hometown. It's 6.44 in the morning and we're already passed half of the trip.

And, let me introduce you to my muse(s).

The book, it has no name but it's titled The Five People You Meet In Heaven. It's written by Mitch Albom, my fave writer. It's about an (ex) US Army, Eddie, who's working at Ruby Pier, a wonderful amusement park. Eddie works there as an engineer. He fixes the races and rides if there's anything not going properly well. Someday, at his 83rd birthday, Eddie got his 'birthday present': a broken ride with people stuck in there. One of them is the little girl he always used to meet, to help her get in to any rides she wants to. Eddie gets there to help the little girl, but there's a mistake and Eddie....died. Without knowing if he saves the little girl or not.
Eddie is now in heaven. At his new 'journey', he'll be meeting 5 people that was related to his previous life on earth. So far, I've read til' the third person. The book is very great. I love it so much. I always love how Papa Albom writes. He makes me fall in love with his witty-yet-smart-and-heart-touching mind.
:)

And my other muse, is a sheep-shaped-fluffy thing commonly called by Shirley Shaun The Sheep. But I name it Daniel Craig. The reason is, I really love Daniel Craig so that I can tweet "I'm sleeping with Daniel Craig". In fact, I'm sleeping with this fluffy sheep.
Again, I brought Daniel Craig in my trip because I need an extra pillow to sleep everywhere I want. It's comfy, you know.
:)

So that's the post. I'm hungry anyway. Anyone cares to feed me breakfast? French toast would be much appreciated. No? Ah-kay.
*snort*
ANYWAYYYY. I would like to say, Eid Mubarak, everyone. Please forgive me for all the mistakes I've done, if I wrote anything here in this blog that could hurt you or anything. I apologize :)
Well, this is the end of the post. Am starting to get headache because I'm writing this using my phone in the car with lack of sleep. Yeah, expect how dizzy I am. Have a nice Thursday, people!
:D

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Oh I love my flowery fingernails :)

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